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Dharma Curandero blog

Manu Sai's shares his personal journey as a pilgrim on this Planet

My experience with the dangerous side of Shamanism


Dear Friends

    I just posted a story about what a shaman is that I found on the website, The Shamans Well. It has many beautiful and concise things to say that I agree with. The one thing that I would like to add from my experience is that it is super important to acknowledge the creator in all of the spiritual and normal work and life experiences that the Shaman does and lives.

  I remember the time when I was learning shamanism and apprenticing at the beginning of my spiritual trail and it was so easy to tap into Power and how good it felt to leave my body or to enter into some one else's space, to read or scan someone and tell them what was wrong with them, to speak with the elements and be heard. I would go out of my way to demonstrate to people the power that I thought I had. It was important to fill my personal void of insecurity with power and so I got exposed to black magic and the dark side of Ayahuasca Shamanism.

  Thee beginning of of my shamanic entry into the Amazon rainforest started when I was 15 with my father who is a Peruvian Medicine man who had taken me there  for my first Ayahuasca ceremony. It was not a big event for me. The jungle was beautiful and I enjoyed the medicine's soft journey. I took Ayahuasca on and off for many years until I was called to seriously study by the plants themselves when I was 26.

   I had taken a German man to the jungle to meet some healers that I knew upon his request, he was interested in taking Ayahuasca. I looked for the Ayahuasquero that I knew and could not find him so a cab driver took me to one that he knew and so began a different experience completely that would teach me so much and continues to do so years later.  The medicine woman happily opened her door to us and when we asked about taking Ayahuasca, she told me to come that evening and to be careful and not eat spicy or heavy and fried things before.

  So I came back with my friend and we took the medicine, it was a beautiful night and the sounds of mother Natures orchestra was loud and firm in its intention to make it rain, and rain it did. While we journeyed to the beautiful lullaby of the shamans voice, we were visited by the spirits of the rainforest and the medicine cleaned out our insides as we purged into the plastic buckets that the medicine woman had given us for that purpose. After the ceremony, she told us to come back the next day for another one that would definitely heal my friend.

  The next evening we came back for our ceremony, she gave us both a large dose and it definitely pushed me through the other side like never before in my life. I had also never taken medicine two days in a row before. This time I saw elemental spirits so clearly, Indian warriors and old medicine women telling me to stay and study with them. I knew they were elementals because of the way they stand by a tree or their outfits were made from barks or leaves. It was an amazing experience and a deep call that I heeded. My friend was healed and I came back a few months later.

   I started studying with this beautiful Ayahuasquera, I did the diet of no sugar, salt fried foods or intimate contact for six months with her and I learned extremely fast. It felt like the shamanic DNA inside me was re awakening. I could fly into other realities, see the future and past very clearly, at the same time I  could see other shamans on the astral plane of Ayahuasca. Shamans who were taking the medicine just like us at the same time. I saw how they would come into our sessions and try and disrupt us, attempt to steal my third eye or shoot shamanic darts or Virotes at us. I remember a shaman that I had stopped some friends from going to work with coming to me in a session and start burning me all over my body with his mapacho cigarette and then the worst happened.....

   I was starting to only feel good when I was at my teachers house. I would walk around town doing my things and I kept feeling that I needed to rush back to her home and when I would get there, I would feel so much better. A plant healer that I knew told me that I was being majiked and I should be careful who I work with. I got super defensive with him and almost angry and said "there is no way that she would do that to me". He smiled sadly and never brought it up again.

   One day while at her house, a man came to her and asked for her help in bringing back his lover to him. It seemed that she had run away with another boy. My teacher said, I can help you through the Ayahuasca session, no problem.He gave her some money and left. The one big issue for me was that he was around forty years old and the girl who ran away from him 14. I looked at my teacher and asked her if she was going to to do the job, she looked at me kind of funny as she said that she would not.

 That afternoon as I slept in her house in a hammock, the trees outside her home came to me and warned me"leave her, dont take medicine with her anymore"! I woke up concerned and asked her if it would be ok to take medicine by myself in my home. She told me it was a good idea and asked me to come back later that evening and she would give me something special. I came in the evening and she very hurriedly gave me a small bottle. I went back to my small room in town, made myself ready and drank the medicine, it was dark, chunky and pretty nasty tasting. As the medicine journey began, I could see her in her own ceremony calling that girl back to the older man and it was like a veil was lifted and I saw her dark side and at the same time I saw how she had put her bodily fluids and menses into the Ayahuasca that she had given me.

  It was an incredible shock and I went to her home the next day when I knew she would not be there to get my didge and some other things and to thank the trees for warning me. A I did this, I knew inside myself that I would never come back. The teacher knew that I knew how she played both sides now and the attacks kept coming. I would wake up to my own screaming..I did not know what was waking me up. I saw how she had buried my picture in a graveyard. I prayed to God for helo and left teachers and went into the deep bush and started working with the spirits and elementals themselves as my teachers and became clearer and stronger until Sai Baba walked into my home and called me to India and put me into check and popped that ego bubble of power and scanning and wanting to be right and acknowledged and back into my heart and the principles of Love All, Serve All. here is a link to that story if you would like to read it.

    I have had to cleanse myself for many years to flush out the fluids that I drank inside that Ayahuasca of insecurity that was given to me. I have had to forgive and look at why it was done and at the same time give thanks for the experience that showed me the duality of the Shamanic world. The truth for me is that most Ayahuasqueros are sorcerors and play both sides. I am speaking from experience and for myself. Its one thing to go and take medicine with someone and have an incredible experience full of visions and beautiful songs, its another thing to see what is going on behind the songs and see the programmer and not just the program.

        It is very easy to be a dark shaman or sorcerer. Very easy to work for the dark side. I know of shamans who learned their medicinal ways in the Peruvian rainforest from sorcerers not knowing who their teachers were. Now when they sing their songs, they are giving beautiful experiences to their patients but at the same time, they take energy from their patients to make themselves stronger. It is not a good thing to learn just to learn. The power can be seductive, the visions incredible and the feeling of knowing so much..addicting.

  Ayahuasca is a medicine and should be treated with respect, if you are going to open the doors of your soul to someone, please make sure that they take their shoes off first. I have been lucky that God looked after me so well and showed me what was really going on. I am not perfect nor claim to be a realized teacher but one thing is for sure, I love God and the light.  I ask you all to please be careful as you study or learn from a Shaman or a spiritual guide. Ask your questions to them personally, ask them

if they believe in God, dont be afraid to know who you are dealing with. Its your soul, take good care of it. Follow your spiritual compass, your intuition that you are born with, trust your gut feelings and you will be fine.

   Integrity, honesty and love of the divine should be the hallmarks of a Shaman. Strong moral principles and humility are the clues through which they shall be recognized. I know of a few who walk that way and I am grateful that they are here on earth. May their lives be long and may they be protected and cared for in all ways. May we be guided to the teachers of honesty and integrity and thus spread the message of love through our practice. This way the scales will tilt and the forces of darkness will be no more.

    I now have a beautiful teacher who is not afraid to learn from his students and this gives me great confidence in the power of humility and surrender to Gods will. I am blessed and protected, thank you Lord. If you have any questions or comments, I would love to hear them.

Om Sai Ram